Fuck promo girls! Who has that much energy and passion about a new brand of gum? They’re like a capitalist wet dream: Hot, young girls getting all psyched on some random product and telling everyone in earshot about it. It could be fucking anything: “Hey guuuys, have you heard about this brand new GE microwave. Want to try a free sample?” said the GE-emblazoned bikini-clad Sears catalogue model. Am I supposed to reciprocate your hard-on for Mountain Dew? What if I were to respond in the same way that you are speaking to me? “FUCK YEAAAH! I love new types of lime-flavoured soda… What? Shit yes, I’d love a free sample. This is the best day of my life!” You know why these girls have to be paid to do this, because people like this don’t exist. Save for Mac users.

Fuck promo girls! Who has that much energy and passion about a new brand of gum? They’re like a capitalist wet dream: Hot, young girls getting all psyched on some random product and telling everyone in earshot about it. It could be fucking anything:

“Hey guuuys, have you heard about this brand new GE microwave. Want to try a free sample?” said the GE-emblazoned bikini-clad Sears catalogue model.

Am I supposed to reciprocate your hard-on for Mountain Dew? What if I were to respond in the same way that you are speaking to me?

“FUCK YEAAAH! I love new types of lime-flavoured soda… What? Shit yes, I’d love a free sample. This is the best day of my life!”

You know why these girls have to be paid to do this, because people like this don’t exist. Save for Mac users.

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